pressures... yet again

the guidelines are too strong, but i just don't want to follow it anymore.
i was, but simply now i am not.
it's like they rule my life no matter what i think, no matter what i'd like to, no matter what my interest is in.
well, i know at least by following their guidelines i'll be able to make them proud. but still... i just don't want to. for real.
i'm sick of being taunted to walk on that path... just no, please don't.

anyway there's much people waiting in line for that faculty, fucking much people and i don't want to cause more trouble to those who really want to be there. unlike me.