Friday, August 31, 2012


have you thought about... this?
when the eyes were wandering around a colorful page of website with one of your dreams hangs down the page, something suddenly cut the hanger of the dream off?
when you took a glance at something you like and something make the thing went out in a 'puff'?
people saying the risks of your dream are too big for a person like you it might simply kill you out --whether literally or not.

i want to take the risk, i want to get out of my comfort zone.
but seems like nobody wants to hear me out, so here i am --standing alone, clinging into the dream i want the most,
like i have nothing else to hold on to and

someone forces me to loosen those hangs, to loosen my grips
offering another bar to be gripped, hoping that i'll jump over there like those gymnastic athletes jump among the trapezes.

so what should i do?
nobody cares anyway.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

pressures... yet again

the guidelines are too strong, but i just don't want to follow it anymore.
i was, but simply now i am not.
it's like they rule my life no matter what i think, no matter what i'd like to, no matter what my interest is in.
well, i know at least by following their guidelines i'll be able to make them proud. but still... i just don't want to. for real.
i'm sick of being taunted to walk on that path... just no, please don't.

anyway there's much people waiting in line for that faculty, fucking much people and i don't want to cause more trouble to those who really want to be there. unlike me.